52: Celebrating Who I’ve Become and Who I’m Still Becoming

A Storm Can Change the Landscape in Seconds

 

 

A few days before my birthday, strong weather moved through Atlanta. On my walk, I could see what it had left behind.

Trees were down. Some had fallen across the path. One had already been cut into logs. Another large tree had fallen into the water.

My first thought was how quickly life can change.

Something can fall into our path in a matter of seconds and completely disrupt the direction we thought we were going. We naturally see that disruption as negative. And sometimes it is. It can be painful, inconvenient, frightening, or devastating.

But then I started looking at the trees differently.

Some of the trees may have been weaker, compromised, or simply unable to withstand the force of the storm. Their falling also changed the environment around them – creating more sunlight and more room for other trees and plants to grow.

The tree along the trail was being cut into logs. Something that had blocked the path was now being repurposed.

The tree in the water was becoming part of the ecosystem in a different way – creating structure, habitat, and eventually nutrients for other forms of life.

Nothing looked the same after the storm. But that did not mean there was only loss.

We don’t always get to choose what falls into our path. But we often have some choice in what we do with what is left behind.

That thought reminded me of something I had watched just days earlier in Fort Walton Beach and Destin, Florida, a place I have loved and returned to for more than 20 years.

A hurricane was approaching. That afternoon, I watched the webcams and saw one of the most incredible sunsets. Just a few hours later, the same ocean looked completely different. Huge waves. Strong wind. Turbulent water.

By the next day, things had begun to settle. It took time for the ocean to calm, but it did.

Life can feel exactly like that. Beauty and disruption can exist very close together. We cannot prevent every storm. But we can prepare ourselves, stay aware, and keep our eyes open for what becomes possible next.

There is also evidence that time in nature can support stress recovery, which may be part of why walks like this feel so grounding. I did not need a study to tell me how much I needed that walk that day, but I appreciate that the science and the experience can meet in the same place.

After the nature walk and all that reflection, I went to the sauna for 20 minutes.

Heaven.

A little more space to slow down, let my nervous system settle, and simply be.

 

The Trip I Almost Didn’t Take

Birthdays also carry another meaning for me now.

Five years ago, on October 12, my mom called me to wish me happy birthday. I was at the beach. She told me she was not feeling very well and was going to take a nap, but she wanted to call me first.

I did not know that would be our last conversation.

Seven days later, on October 19, she passed away.

There is another story behind that one that I think about often.

The year before, on my birthday in 2019, I went to a winery and ended up talking with four or five women I had never met before. My nephew was getting married in Brazil later that month, and I told them I was not sure I should go. Financially, it was not a great time. But I also knew my mom’s health was declining.

Those women basically told me: Go. Go see your mom. Spend quality time with her.

And I did.

That trip became the last time I saw my mom alive.

Today, I do not remember what that trip cost me. I remember the memories I built.

Make the trip. Have the conversation. Spend the time. Don’t postpone what matters.

But there is something underneath that lesson too.

We have to pause long enough to notice.

Most of us live in a constant state of go, go, go. We are trained to be rational, productive, efficient, and always moving to the next thing. The world rewards that.

But we are human beings, not machines.

Sometimes another human being, a conversation, a gut feeling, or a moment of stillness helps us see something differently. We need enough space to listen.

I find it much harder to hear my intuition when I am constantly stressed and overstimulated. We need moments where the nervous system can settle – not because life should always be calm, but because we need enough mental, physical, and emotional capacity to push when life asks us to push, and enough wisdom to rest when it is time to rest.

Then I Met Faith

Every birthday, if there is a Starbucks nearby, I get my free birthday drink. It is a silly little tradition, but I love it.

This year I went there with a different intention. I was not there to work, which is normally what I do at Starbucks. I wanted to sit, write, and reflect.

Not long after I sat down, an older woman came in and sat near me carrying a book called Reversing Alzheimer’s. I had heard the book mentioned recently at a microbiome lab symposium I attended, and I had even written a blog about the symposium, so of course it caught my attention. I had not read the book myself, but I recognized the title immediately.

I thought about starting a conversation with her, but I stopped myself. I did not know why she was reading it, and I did not want to intrude.

So I went back to writing.

Then she looked at me and said hello.

And that was it.

Her name is Faith. She is 87 years old. Curious. Sharp. Beautiful. Interested in medicine. And still going to the gym.

We talked for at least 30-45 minutes about health, childhood, relationships, intuition, emotions, work, and life.

At one point, Faith told me she has always been able to pick up on people and the energy around her. She believes some of that sensitivity may have developed during a turbulent childhood, when she learned to pay very close attention to what was happening around her.

That made me think about my own childhood and about something I have always felt strongly in myself: intuition.

Years ago, before my mom passed, I talked with her about it. She told me she had always felt the same thing.

And she told me something I still remember: “Think positively. Think about what you want, not what you don’t want. Use it as a superpower.”

I am still working on that.

Faith also told me something else that stayed with me. She worked until she was 85. After she stopped working, unresolved emotions and childhood experiences began surfacing in ways she had not expected.

She told me, essentially, “I didn’t invite this in.”

For years, she thought that part of her life was behind her. Suddenly she was facing things that had been there for a very long time.

That resonated with me because I had a similar experience in a different season of life.

For most of my adult life, I was busy. Corporate America. Work. Responsibilities. Go, go, go. It was only after I left corporate and began building my own business that I started seeing different parts of myself.